Directions.

I’ve been reading the Old Testament.  Currently I’m marching through Numbers (sigh of relief for making it through Leviticus).  Yesterday I read this part about how this cloud that looked like fire encircled over the tabernacle.  When God wanted the Israelistes to stay where they were, the cloud settled.  When God wanted the Israelites to set out, the cloud lifted from the tent.  Awesome.  Is that the Holy Spirit in these current New Testament days?  I’m praying that I can see where the cloud is moving.  If You say go…

read it here:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+9&version=NIV

in my head…

A road trip back to childhood.

 

One of my favorite musicians and story tellers, Andrew Peterson, wrote two adventure, fiction books.  He just released the second book of the series, titled “North! Or Be Eaten.”  This book, which I just started, is about a family, the Igiby’s, who are once again stuck in a scary, wonderful adventure.  After having their house burned down, they are now in search of the Jewels of Anneria.  The kids are just learning about their father, their inheritance, and their responsibilities.  Now they are trying to avoid not only the Fangs of Dang, but toothy cows, quill diggles, and lots of other mysterious creatures you’ll have trouble pronouncing.  In the beginning of this book we find the Igiby children in the tree house of all of our childhood dreams.  This tree house belongs to the unlikely superhero Peet the Sock Man.  Just as the children are making themselves at home in this home far from the ground, they conclude that their journey must continue.  They must continue north, to a place where hopefully they no longer have to look around every corner for a Fang of Dang—one of the few places Fangs avoid.  This is a wonderful way to share an adventurous story with friends, family, and foes.

You can find his book and music here: http://andrew-peterson.com/

money in the bank

I realized that I wanted to buy a mountain bike.  So I started reseraching what kind of bike to buy, and looked on craigslist.  After I found some good deals, I ended up buying two bikes (I’ll sell one of them) .  But after I bought the bikes, I thought that I wanted to buy a Camelbak.  So now I’ve been looking for those.  And a new headlamp.  I feel like I’m living out “if you give a mouse a cookie.”  Just because a have a few dollars to spend doesn’t mean I have to.  I need to humble myself.  I need to get my mind away from thinking about buying stuff.  I have enough stuff… and then some.  I think I’m just super forgetful.  My mind is so inconsistent.  Sometimes I think I should give my stuff away, other times I just want to add to my collection.  I want to live simply but securely I suppose.  We only need to trust in the Lord, not our stuff.

the more we have, the more we can share.

Life is good.  I have lots of toys.  Way more than I could ask for–way more than I deserve.  I was thinking today about what I’ll do after college, and where I’ll end up.  Just so you know, I have no idea as to the answers to those questions.  However, I imagine that if I end up in a different country for a little while, I will not get to take all of my toys with me (ex. scooter, nice guitar, you get the point).  Most people in other countries don’t ever get to have all these cool toys I have.  So, really, what are they worth?  If those people can be happy without them, what are they worth to me?  I know they’re just material posessions, and I’m trying to learn to not be attached to them.  I think here in the States, we’re taught to be lazy.  We build a collection of things that will hopefully and theoretically make our lives easier.  So we can clap our lights off, shake our iPod to the next song, or change the channel of entertainment we’re watching with the click of a remote.  But where is that taking us?  What are we getting accomplished?  Are these things bringing the best out in us?  For me, it’s important to think about how I spend my time and what I keep myself occupied with.  Is what I’m doing bringing me life?  Or is it just stealing my attention and opportunity to be creative?

wish I were a warrior (not worrier)

I made some mistakes at work this past week, and it stinks.  Cuz now my boss is mad at me, and he’s taking away some of my privelages.  The problem is I can’t get it off my mind.  When I drove home from work this morning, I was thinking that I’m not good at not bringing work “home with me.”  This should be like the easiest job to not bring home with me too.  I just paint.  Other than the fact that I have paint spackled on my arm when I go home, I shouldn’t have much to worry about when I’m not working.  But I do.  I’m a worrier.  Wish I were more of a warrior.  Any solutions?

yeah, it’s summer

I somehow just slid into summer.  It’s like when you’re young and you go sled riding (or down a waterslide), and for the first ten seconds of your ride you keep your eyes closed because you’re so excited and scared and stuff.  I guess that’s sorta what summer’s been for me.  Peru came and went.  I pray not to forget about my experiences there.  Back to my 9 to 5.  I feel busier this summer than during the school year.  I somehow never realize that it’s going to be like that.  I wonder if this is what the real world will be like.  I wonder what I’ll have (make) time for.  I think I’ve concluded that whatever I do from 9 to 5 needs to have some real value.  Painting bathrooms and removing rocks from a lawn seem way less important and significant from digging a ditch for a sidewalk or putting up a wall at an orphanage.  I’m not sure if I’ll work in an office or in this country or what after college, but I look forward to it.  Part of me wants to see what God has for me after college right now and to fast-forward there, but I’m sure I’m not ready.  I think I need to seek out and search for what God has for me.  I’m learning that it’s an active process.  Waiting on the Lord can be an active process.  I think it really means trusting the Lord with what He’s telling you and giving you and what He’s not.  Some of my thoughts for now…

if…

If ________ would just end, I could relax

if _________ wasn’t around, I would never be annoyed

if ________ weren’t so hard, life would be easy

if ________ would just stop _________, our relationship would be good again,

if I just had __________ i would feel ___________

if I worked for ____________________ i would love  it

if I could wear my ____________ shirt every day, I would

if I could _____________ once a week, I would

if I could only text one more person for the rest of my life, it would be _____________,

if I weren’t reading this, I would be ________

if I could wake up in any place in the world tomorrow, it would be ____________

if I could talk to animals, I would first talk to ____________

if I could live any of the dreams I’ve had while I was sleeping I would live the one where ____________

if I could fast forward through one day in my future it would be ____________

if I could tell everyone in the world to download one song, it would be ____________

if I were president, ____________

if someone handed me $850 in cash and told me I had to spend it in 10 hours, I would spend it on __________

if I could tell Jordan one thing about myself that he doesn’t already know, it would be ____________________

if I could sleep until any time tomorrow, it would be ____________

if I had to get my hands dirty tomorrow, I would get them dirty by __________

if you answer these questions, you know you’ll have fun and so will I.

right now

I haven’t written in a while, so I’m going to just write some of my thoughts.

I’m not sure I remember the days when I was bored.  When I had more time than responsibilities.  It seems that as I’m getting older, the proportion of responsibilities/”should do’s” is starting to outnumber the free time I have.  I was thinking: what if I decided in my career that I would make sure that I had time every day to slow down.  That even though I bustle my bum while I’m working, I would recognize and feed the need for relaxation and refreshment.  I think about other countries where they run slower than us.  So what if they don’t get as much done in the day.  Maybe they enjoy it more?  So what if they take a nap every afternoon.  Maybe they enjoy the rest of the day more. 

I’m a worrier–which leads to stress, tiredness, and discontent.  And I tell myself (the truth I think) that worrying is a trust problem.  That if I really trusted God, what is there to worry about?  Much easier said than done for me my friends.

Thank God for springtime.  Thank God for my family (at home and here at PSU).  I hope to enjoy, not just endure the rest of this semester.  I need God’s strength to get me through.  God is giving me a picture of redemption, and it’s refreshing.

rk

who I am hates who I’ve been–

I’m sorry for the person I became.

I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change.

I’m ready to be sure I’ll never become that way again.

video/audio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Jd9dfn0Fgc

lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/relientk/whoiamhateswhoivebeen.html